An unfortunate side effect of this wonderful thing we call the internet is that there are ads and spam everywhere and then some. Sometimes however ads can backfire and be placed where they really shouldn't have been placed. A website called Oddee which seems to just take things from Cracked had two sections on unfortunate ad placement (Gallery 1 Gallery 2). So I took a gander at them and relized yeah ads really suck. I then turn around and while and find an unfortunate placement of my own from their website.
It's just something about the words "Mammoth Erection" and "Come feel the Spirit" that made me chuckle. Yes, I do realize that I'm going to hell for this but it's still funny none-the-less. What I also was made to realize is that way to many people are getting into the whole ad scene when their efforts (and cash) could be going to help people in need (*cough*me*cough*). In this slumping economy should "Christ Unveiled Ministries" really be putting ads (that just get ignored anyway) on a website? They could have put them to better use helping those in need and then maybe people would notice hey those ministry people are really nice maybe I can help them make a difference. Yet we see none of that. We only see and photo with the words "Mammoth Erection" followed by an ad that says "Come feel the spirit."
Some of the ads in the above links really made me feel like I will delve deeper into a "special" (as my wife and I refer to it) type of hell. I chuckled at the photo that included a story about a daughter killing her dad while an ad read "dad, what will happen to me and mommy if you die?" I know I know I'm a sick sadistic ass-hole with no reason to live. Unfortunatly, for you, I do have a reason to live: Human Stupidity. It's those type of things that get me through the day. Knowing that no matter what mediocre path I take in life that there will always be someone with a much better postition in life who will fuck up and make me laugh at them. Hell, I even read a story about a guy who, literally, did nothing for several years and got paid for it (read Edward McSweegan's profile for the Tournament of Genius (via Mental Floss). You would think a guy whose supposed to be smart would have know to shut the hell up and get paid.
Growing up I always wondered what it'd be like to be Ironman (greatest super-hero ever). When I quickly realized what being broke as hell was I settled for something radio-active to happen to me. Guess what? It didn't. No spider, no gamma rays, not even a damn super robotic arm. Nope I got fat playing my games and reading my comics. But you know what? In this day and age anyone...I do mean anyone even me...can be a bonafide super-hero! All it takes it a bad ass costume and a need to help other people (damnit out of the race already). Now unless you've been out of the loop (or just plain don't care about people dressing in spandex fighting crime) I'm sure you've heard of SuperBarrio or others (taking a stab and saying no...no you havn't). Well, now you have. I wonder which browser FoxFire uses? So with this in mind that anyman/anywoman can be a super-hero I have decided that from this day forth I shall be known as...FatAssTico!!! Yeah, really nice. Worked on it for all of three seconds. Nope, no other considerations. For my wardrobe I am currently looking for endorsements (wink wink there Nike...Rebook?...Damnit...Hey Puma how you doing?). I am not afraid to help the people. But only if they pay me or are just hot (in which case I give them my wife's ac unit she loves so much. what? you think I meant hot and in good looking? hell i'm a married man I can't look. but I can peak...hehe). I am hoping to find something that is slimming and not like the children's Spiderman costume I once wore to the skate park here in Louisville (try and get that image out of your mind. and no it's not on youtube sick-o). I think that maybe we should super impose an image of a fat ass (donkey...perv) onto the shirt. That away whilst I sit and hinder their movements until the police arrive they shall know that their evil plans were foiled at the hands of FatAssTico!
Alrighty kids. I'm done for now. Threw in a light-hearted blog. Hopefully it put a smile on your face, unless you know me then I'm sure you're currently hovering over a toilet somewhere losing the last 4 meals you've eaten at the thought of me in a kid's Spiderman costume. Well, I am off. Take care until next blog time and then I don't care.
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